The beginning of my Tumblr blog. I was thinking about making a blog for a while,
you know people always say it might help to write things down, as a whole psychological thing… I think i am ready to give that a try.

Since i decided to make one, i was having big doubts about keeping it private, as a personal journal, so i could also write it down in my own language„ instead of English… or share it with a bunch of people i know, -and don’t know..
But i do think it would be nice to share…   Maybe.

Before i really begin, i do need to warn you… i will rant, and ramble. im sorry, or… no i am not.

I am 25. I’m a mother. I’m also struggling a depression, anxiety/panic attacks, and all the shit that comes with that.
It’s “officially diagnosed” in December 2010, which is also the moment i started my medication.

Once every 2 weeks my therapist comes over, just like today.
We talked about things i did, and would love to do.. about how meds change your emotions, i even told him things i never said out loud.

But the things which made me realise i really want to make this blog, was him asking me where i was, and where i want to be, if we would put it on a 0 till 10.
Where 0 would be being at home, and couldnt do anything myself, and 10 would be being able to live without being dependant from others.

We talked about it a bit, and after a while we put “me” on a 2.2.. (yes, that 0.2 has to be there)
I want to go to that 10, it maybe will take a while.. but i want to be able to go shopping, or grocerieshopping, or go to a cinema, without having to deal with fear.
Fear i don’t even understand, because it was never there before…

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